FRIDAY STIR FRY: Inspiration

 

Last week I mentioned in my post that I use to live in a crappy neighborhood. 

I miss that place.

As a writer, inspiration  comes in many forms. That neighborhood was full of stories. I had low windows so I could see out them while sitting in my recliner. And man the things I saw. The windows in my new place are higher so sadly, I don't see as much stuff. 

I've decided to share some of the shenanigans I saw at my old place on this blog. 

This first one involves the people directly across the street from me. (many of my stories will involve them)

This family consisted of an older couple and their early 20ish son who had an anger problem. One day I heard the son yelling at his mother to give him the keys to the car they all shared. She apparently was refusing. He came outside and slammed the storm door over and over until it came off its hinges, all the while yelling at her to give him the keys. She still refused. He then proceeded to go around the house beating on the windows. 

He went to the back porch and hit that storm door window until it shattered. He was barefoot. Not good. A neighbor, apparently fed up with the yelling, called the police. I would never do that. I was having too much fun. The police called an ambulance to treat his many cuts. He refused their help, all the while still yelling at his mother to give him the keys.  

And guess what? When it was all over, she gave him the keys. Way to go mom. 

FRIDAY STIR FRY: TOO HOT/TOO COLD

I don't like air conditioning. 

I grew up without it and I'm a summer person. I like it hot. For the past 17 years I rented an older house in a crappy neighborhood and it didn't have central air or heat or even a window unit. And I was fine. I enjoyed opening my windows in the spring, letting in the fresh air. I had a couple of ceiling fans and window fans. I worked in air conditioning during the hot part of the day. If the heat was unbearable during the weekends, I would go hang out at Panera Bread or the Library. And it really never stayed unbearably hot for too many days in a row. 

I really never worried about having my windows open until the last few years. The neighborhood was going downhill with lots of homeless people wandering around and several shootings. And I'm pretty sure my son wasn't happy with the situation. 

Last year, my landlord (an elderly lady), told me she wasn't going to be able to rent anymore. So, I started looking for a new place. 

My new apartment is great and it has air. Because I am getting on in years, I appreciate it more than I use to. This old body doesn't handle heat as well as it once did. But, be warned. You will probably be sweating if you come visit. I keep it on 80 degrees. 

I really, really can't stand being cold.  

FRIDAY STIR FRY: Book Signings

 I don't like doing book signings. There I said it. (Hiding under my desk until the storm passes)

"What?? But, you are passing up the opportunity to meet your fans and sell some books." 

Uh, I don't have any fans except for a few friends and family. I also hate small talk. And I don't like sitting at a table smiling at strangers while they pick up the free candy and bookmarks I have scattered around. And then they move on with barely a glance at my books. I feel like I must give off a smell of desperation. "Please kind person, buy my book I slaved over for years. I know you'll love it as much as I do." 

And my bank account will enjoy the meager amount I will profit from a sale. That last sentence is meant as a joke. There is no money in writing anymore, unless you are Stephen King or Patterson or some celebrity with a juicy memoir people want to read. 

And then when it's all over, I end up packing up the same number of books I brought. But not as much candy or bookmarks. 

Maybe I would feel different if I showed up and there was a line out the door waiting on little old me. 

But, I doubt it. 

I'll keep writing and self publishing, but don't expect to see me sitting behind a table.