FRIDAY STIR FRY - Another Story From The Hood

 

I've missed posting the last couple of weeks. Why? Well, since I retired, I lose track of my days. They all just kind of melt into each other. Usually by Sunday I realize I missed Friday somehow. Today I remembered what day it is. Congrats brain. Anyway, here's another story from the hood where I used to live. 

One night after dinner and a couple beers at my favorite watering hole, I pulled into my driveway. My headlights illuminated what appeared to be somebody sleeping on my front porch. I always entered my house by the back door, so I got in safely. I cracked open my front door and sure enough some guy was laying on my porch. He had his head propped up against my storm door like it was a headboard. I closed the door and called 911. 

"What's your emergency?"

"There is a man sleeping on my front porch."

"Is he breathing?"

"I don't know." 

"Is he bleeding?" 

"I don't know and I'm not going to check."

I lived just a block from an ambulance station so that's who they sent. I cracked my door again so I could listen. They shone a spotlight on him and shook his shoulder. 

"Hey man. Wake up."

"Leave me alone. I'm tired."

"I understand you're tired, but you are trespassing on somebody's property. You can't stay here."

He slowly sat up and a beer can rolled off him onto the porch.

"How many beers have you had?"

"Just a couple."

"Uh huh," the other attendant muttered.

He shielded his eyes from the spotlight still shining on him.

Now, it just so happened the television show COPS was filming in my town.

"Am I gonna be on COPS?" He sounded rather excited. 

The ambulance attendants could barely stifle their laughter. I covered my mouth because I had to giggle.

"No man, you're not going to be on COPS. You need to get up and move on down the road."

"Okay, okay. Where's the nearest Brown Derby, man?" (that is one of our area liquor stores and one was located a block away - which was one of the reasons my street was so popular with boogins) The ambulance attendants gleefully told him where it was.

He stumbled down the street, probably to find another porch to sleep on. I doubt if he had money for more beer. 

I sure miss the hood.

  

FRIDAY STIR FRY - Another Year Older

http://morguefile.com

Yep, another birthday came and went. I guess I should be happy to see another one considering my age which is ... let's just say older than dirt.

Best part about the day? My employer gives it off with pay. Yea!

I didn't do much. Watched oldie tv - Perry Mason and Matlock. Took a nap (because that's what old people do). And then went to my hangout for a free beer. I was in bed by eight o'clock. Exciting right? Bet you all are so jealous.

My son shipped me some items off my Amazon wish list, so I got stuff I needed and wanted. Good boy! Other than that, it was an ordinary day. No cake, no balloons, no fireworks. I do enjoy a good fireworks show but alas it wasn't to be.

Today, I'm writing, which is a good thing. No hangover like in my younger days. So, maybe I am not only older, but wiser.

FRIDAY STIR FRY - Labor Day - Writing Day

http://www.morguefile.com

It's Labor Day Weekend. Three days to be me. That needs to be writer me. Not lazy me, not laundry me, not Netflix me. Well, maybe a little Netflix. I had three days off last weekend, but didn't get anything written. In my defense, I was drained from work drama. (see last week's post)

Saturday will be somewhat of a writing day. I have a writer's meeting that will take up most of the day. Hopefully it gives me inspiration. But usually after these meetings, I don't write. I think it has to do with writer overload. Don't get me wrong, I love being around my author friends. But when I spend most of the day talking about writing and listening about writing techniques, it can sometimes wear me out. And then writing ends up being the last thing I want to do. A nice cold beer at my watering hole is usually what happens.

That still leaves Sunday and Monday to make up things and put them on paper. I have some Starbucks cards that will be used.

**Follow up from last weeks rant. Be careful who you trust. And you can't trust anybody at work.      Voodoo dolls help.

FRIDAY STIR FRY - These Are A Few Of the Things I Love

http://morguefile.com

I decided to write about some things in life I love. Let me just preface this by saying - this is not easy for me folks. A lot of people think I am pretty negative. I tend to think I'm realistic. I hear you laughing. Shut up.

I love being off work on a work day. It feels like playing hooky from school except I'm getting paid for it.

I love how people who don't really know me at work, fear me. And the people at work that do know me, keep the secret that I'm really a nice person.

I love the fact I wrote a book and it got published.

I love the fact that when my publisher closed shop, I learned how to self-publish so my book is still out there.

I love that I've met so many supportive and wonderful friends by belonging to writer's groups in my area.

I love summer. Don't go away, please, please, I'm begging you.

I love baseball. Go Cards!

I love beer. Nothing like a cold beer, at a bar, talking to strangers, to make you feel alive.

And finally, I love my son and I can't wait to welcome his son into my unhappy life sometime around Christmas.

Please tell me what you love.

Friday Stir Fry - Cooking

I don't cook much anymore. At least not a whole meal.
I used to cook. My family didn't starve. But, it wasn't my favorite task. We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper.
In fact, when my daughter had to make an alphabet picture book for school, she used Hamburger Helper for H.
Now days, I might stick a hamburger patty or a chicken breast in my George Foreman Grill and a potato in the microwave, but that's about it. Healthy, right?
In my defense, I am single and busy. And let's face facts, it's so much easier just to pick something up on the way home. Then, I realized last night, my fridge is starting to look like a bachelor's.

I picked up Chinese food before going home and as usual only ate about half of it. When I went to put it in the fridge, there was the exact same container sitting on the shelf. I totally forgot I had leftovers from a couple days ago. My bad. I stood back for a moment and assessed my food supply. Beer, ketchup, salad dressing (no salad mind you), a couple of expired yogurt cups and now 2 Styrofoam containers of Chinese food. Oh, and a few containers of questionable science experiments that I'm scared to open.

So, you may see me at the grocery store this weekend. Or, more than likely, at the drive-thru window of my favorite Chinese joint.