Friday Stir Fry

 So a writer friend of mine received a contract offer from Harlequin a few days ago. Am I happy for her? Of course I am. She is a great story teller and as I've told her in critique group, she has a great voice. Am I jealous? We are told not to be jealous of other writer's success but to be honest, yea, just a little. Why? Because she has the drive and the passion to follow her dream. I on the other hand, am mired in self pity. I'm too old. I'm not good enough. It's too late for me. I don't have any new ideas. I could go on and on. But what's the point? I have a lot of demons. She writes about demons and reapers and all sorts of weird people. I can kind of relate.

But, perhaps a little jealousy is a good thing. It can motivate. It can spur you on to become better at what you do. I can't change the past, my present is pretty much unchangeable. Can this little bit of jealousy help me change my future?

On the positive side, I did start writing again. I wrote a 1500 word scene to add to my book. And I have a lot of scenes to add. So I'll keep plugging away. Who knows????? Maybe she will be just a little jealous of me one day!

FRIDAY STIR FRY

You know, like when you put all kinds of ingredients in a saute' pan and hope something good comes out. That's kinda what I'm going to try with my Friday posts. I figured if I came up with a theme, I might be more prone to stick with a regular schedule. Like my writer friend Allison Merritt. She does a blog post every Friday titled The Friday Five. Pop over and take a look. http://havenovelwilledit.blogspot.com/
I'm not going to completely steal her idea. I'll just add one ingredient each week and at the end of the year, maybe it will be something tantalizing and delicious.

My first ingredient: inspiration. There is a book about writing called The Weekend Novelist by Robert J Ray. It is geared to people who feel they are too busy during the week to write the Great American Novel. But, their weekends are fairly free. That's me. Actually I'm not that busy during the week. I just don't want to get up early and write (I'm not a morning person. Ask anybody). I don't want to lug my laptop into work everyday to write during my lunch break and I'm pooped by the time I get home. Brain tired. But, my weekends are pretty dull. I often find myself flipping through channels trying to find something to watch or just driving around hoping to find something to do. More often than not, I end up at my hangout. Not very productive. So I am now a weekend novelist.

I hope you can pop by on Fridays and see what's going in the pan next. It could be anything. From childhood memories, to my writing progress, to something that caught my attention that week. Let the stirring begin.

HELLO AGAIN

Yep, it's been a while. What excuse can I give? Hmmm, let's see. Laziness seems to top the list. Or I can use; not enough time, not enough ideas, lack of motivation (see laziness), nobody bugging me for new posts (actually, I can't use that one. A friend did ask me why I haven't posted). Or I could go the pity party route. I've already mentioned in a previous post how I let myself get really discouraged after a less than stellar pitch and critique at ORACON last June. But, that was six months ago. I don't think I can legally use that excuse any more. So let's just go with laziness.

In my defense, I've always been a little lazy. Sure if something had to be done, I would do it. But, if I could put it off or forget it all together, I was good. I have no trouble just sitting and staring out a window for a long period of time. Or, just sitting and staring at the wall. I know a lot of people who balk at the idea of not being busy all the time. Not me. I'm most happy doing nothing. But, that doesn't get you very far in life. Sitting and staring into space, twirling your hair with your fingers, doesn't make dreams come true. In fact, it might land you in the loony bin if you do it in front of too many people.

So what's the answer? Ignore my true self that loves being lazy? Kick that person to the curb and go full steam ahead? Or should I accept I'm not going to change who I am this late in the game? Perhaps somewhere in between? A compromise. Quit beating myself up for not being as productive as others and attempt to get back in the groove of making my dream come true. As a fellow writer friend and I were discussing this weekend - we are getting too old to waste much time hoping and wishing. But, there's always going to be time to sit and stare. Just sayin'.