Saturday, December 27, 2014
So this time of year we are all supposed to ponder what happened in our lives last year and what we want to accomplish this year. That whole New Year's resolution thingy. Right?
I would certainly be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the wonderful fact that my first novel was published!! That's big. No wait, that's huge!!!!
Other than that, I don't have much. Same old job, same car, same house. There's something to be said for stability right? Or should I call it stagnation? Other than the excitement of Beyond The Horizon's release, my life has been pretty dull. 364 days of dull. Not that I'm a fan of drama. Quite the opposite. I loathe drama. Especially made up drama. You know the kind people invent just to get attention. Count me out.
So, what can I change this year so my life isn't so stagnate? Oh, I don't know, finish my second novel maybe? I'm beginning to wonder if that will ever happen. I have good intentions, but not so good follow through. The problem with writing is, YOU GOTTA WRITE. Yes, I'm yelling at myself because I can't bend my foot back far enough to kick myself in the ass. Maybe I could hire somebody to do that. Oh, wait you have to have money to hire people. And since my book didn't make diddly squat, that hiring thing is not an option.
It comes down to me.
Friday, December 19, 2014
What happened to my muse? Did somebody come into my head in the middle of the night and whisk her away? Then tied her up and put a gag in her mouth? Because she has not been talking to me lately. No middle of the night wake-ups screaming a story idea to my sleepy self. No mid-shower inspirations. No middle of traffic "oh no, I need to write this down" moments. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Friday, December 12, 2014
'Tis the season for people to go a little bit crazy. You've seen it. The vacant look in the eyes or the nervous twitch. The inability to hear or comprehend what you're saying to them. The hand wringing and the pacing. Yep, it's Christmas. Traffic is snarled and so is every one's sanity. There is nothing joyous about it.
That's one reason my participation in the madness becomes less and less every year. I just refuse to be bothered. If I decorated, I'd feel obliged to dust. And that ain't gonna happen. I don't like to shop. Not crazy about the pot lucks either. Man people really like meatballs. And all the forced cheerfulness turns my stomach. "Wow, thank you so much for the lovely pot holder. It's just what I needed." Please . . .
Yes, people see me as a Grinch. Don't care. In fact, I kind of get a kick out of annoying people this time of year. Makes me joyous!
Any other Grinches out there? Come out into the open. Don't be afraid.
Friday, December 5, 2014
So I had a bit of a melt-down at work this week. And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. I think I scared some people. Which is saying something because I have a bad reputation at work. Word on the street is I don't like anybody and you better not bother me. Both are pretty much true. Well sort of. I don't have close friends at work. There are people I tolerate because I have to. And I don't like to be bothered by stupidity or anal, control freak people. I'll do my job, you do yours.
For those that don't know, I work in a social welfare job. Once in a while it is rewarding. Like when you know you are throwing a life line to a really needy person. That can make all the paperwork and dumbness worth it. But, sometimes nothing can block the frustration that boils to the surface.
The phone has become my nemeses. I HATE IT! I get about 30 calls a day which I can't possibly answer. So I have voice mail. I specify on my recording to please leave only one message. Do they? No. I understand their need for an answer to their stupid question, but sometimes I just can't deal with it. This week I had stupid voice mail after stupid voice mail. I came close to tears at one point. I juggle three different jobs and when none of them are going right, well you know.
I think part of the problem could be my frustration with my current work in progress. I failed to finish it during NaNo and I'm having a hard time getting into it. Some people would say put it aside and start something else. I can't. I need to finish it. It gnaws at my stomach and brain. Write me, write me.
Work and art are not playing well together right now. Any suggestions?